Some Tips for Dealing with Social Anxiety
I have been dealing with social anxiety for as long as I remember. The very idea of interacting with other people can often times be all that it takes to send me into a panicking state. But I try to live as normal a life as possible because I don't want my fears to get in the way of having good experiences. So over the years I have found ways to cope with my anxiousness. Here are some things that have worked for me, and may work for others.
1. Take small steps
A lot of people may have trouble defeating their anxieties because they are constantly thinking about the big things that they will have to do that scare them. Instead of worrying about how much you'll suck if you try to go to a big meetup with strangers, why not try to do small things to get you out of your comfort zone. I started by just forcing myself to go outside alone and be around other people. I didn't have to talk to anyone. I just needed to be out there in the world. Then I took it a little bit further by never saying no to any invitations to go out that I got. It didn't matter if I really didn't want to go, I made myself do it. You need to be willing to say yes more often.
2. Have a close friend help out
Being alone can make things harder for some people to try new things. I know that I never want to do anything alone, but I also want to be able to go out and meet new people. In those situations I would always bring my best friend. Even if you don't have a best friend, perhaps there is a family member who would be willing to help you out.
3. Fake it till you make it
There are a lot of people who I have met who are shocked when I explain to them that I am shy and I actually hate being around other people because it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. What these people don't realize is that the bubbly, outgoing personality that I put out there is an act. I'm not saying it's good to not be yourself, but sometimes you'll have to fake a bit of confidence, as hard as it may be, in order to meet new people and do certain things. Faking your confidence can often inspire a sense of real confidence inside of you, especially if other people begin to respond positively to you.
These are just a few of the things I have been doing to overcome shyness. Maybe they will help you as well.
1. Take small steps
A lot of people may have trouble defeating their anxieties because they are constantly thinking about the big things that they will have to do that scare them. Instead of worrying about how much you'll suck if you try to go to a big meetup with strangers, why not try to do small things to get you out of your comfort zone. I started by just forcing myself to go outside alone and be around other people. I didn't have to talk to anyone. I just needed to be out there in the world. Then I took it a little bit further by never saying no to any invitations to go out that I got. It didn't matter if I really didn't want to go, I made myself do it. You need to be willing to say yes more often.
2. Have a close friend help out
Being alone can make things harder for some people to try new things. I know that I never want to do anything alone, but I also want to be able to go out and meet new people. In those situations I would always bring my best friend. Even if you don't have a best friend, perhaps there is a family member who would be willing to help you out.
3. Fake it till you make it
There are a lot of people who I have met who are shocked when I explain to them that I am shy and I actually hate being around other people because it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. What these people don't realize is that the bubbly, outgoing personality that I put out there is an act. I'm not saying it's good to not be yourself, but sometimes you'll have to fake a bit of confidence, as hard as it may be, in order to meet new people and do certain things. Faking your confidence can often inspire a sense of real confidence inside of you, especially if other people begin to respond positively to you.
These are just a few of the things I have been doing to overcome shyness. Maybe they will help you as well.
Change Your Thoughts
Dealing with social anxiety can often be as simple as changing how you think. I know that I used to be incredibly negative. Being able to adjust my thoughts has helped me feel a little better about being around others and interacting with them. I used to be really down on myself. I always felt like other people were better than me. I used to think about interactions I had with other people for DAYS after it happened wondering what I could have done to make it better. I knew that this was unhealthy and that it would have to stop.
One of the things that I did to help change how I think was understand that everyone is just human. Everyone who I think is cooler than me, is just another human being. It's hard to explain, but when you stop bringing other people to some sort of level above you, it really helps. You are just as great as everyone else is. Unless you're a murderer.
Another thing I tried to keep in mind is that it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. Why should it? Chances are, after you've stopped talking to someone they're not thinking about you anymore anyway. If you go into a social situation in a state of panic about what everyone is thinking about you, then it's bound to be disasterous. Just stop overthinking things, and do it. The worst that can happen is that you tried.
Which leads to what I think is the most important thing of all. Stop thinking so much. All of these concerns and worries that we have are all in our brains. Now I don't mean turn into a stupid person who is not thoughtful and only does mindless things. I mean stop overthinking every action. When you need to order at a restaurant, don't think about all the different ways you might stumble over your words and mess up. Just go and order your food! When you are lost on the street and can't figure out where you are going, go ask for directions without thinking too much about it. The worst that could happen is they don't know where to go either!
One of the things that I did to help change how I think was understand that everyone is just human. Everyone who I think is cooler than me, is just another human being. It's hard to explain, but when you stop bringing other people to some sort of level above you, it really helps. You are just as great as everyone else is. Unless you're a murderer.
Another thing I tried to keep in mind is that it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. Why should it? Chances are, after you've stopped talking to someone they're not thinking about you anymore anyway. If you go into a social situation in a state of panic about what everyone is thinking about you, then it's bound to be disasterous. Just stop overthinking things, and do it. The worst that can happen is that you tried.
Which leads to what I think is the most important thing of all. Stop thinking so much. All of these concerns and worries that we have are all in our brains. Now I don't mean turn into a stupid person who is not thoughtful and only does mindless things. I mean stop overthinking every action. When you need to order at a restaurant, don't think about all the different ways you might stumble over your words and mess up. Just go and order your food! When you are lost on the street and can't figure out where you are going, go ask for directions without thinking too much about it. The worst that could happen is they don't know where to go either!
A Group for Support
Building a support group and being open about my fears has been a big part of helping me with my anxieties. This is something that is harder to do if you are scared of other people, but I've been fortunate enough to collect a few good friends over the years and have a really great sister. The thing that is great about these friendships is that they know I struggle with social issues, and because of that I can be myself around them, and talk to them about it.
I know that I'm really fortunate, since for some people with my problems, they don't have anyone they can turn to. But if you're one of those people, you're not alone either. You have an internet connection, and you can interact with tons of people who may be dealing with the same problems that you have. You may even make a friend or two out of it. We live in an age where we can now make friends with everyone who we may not have been able to become friends with before thanks to the internet. It's really any amazing thing.
I know that I'm really fortunate, since for some people with my problems, they don't have anyone they can turn to. But if you're one of those people, you're not alone either. You have an internet connection, and you can interact with tons of people who may be dealing with the same problems that you have. You may even make a friend or two out of it. We live in an age where we can now make friends with everyone who we may not have been able to become friends with before thanks to the internet. It's really any amazing thing.